Blaming others for anything that goes wrong in our lives is easy, it comes natural to us. It’s always hard to take a step back, self-reflect and admit that we control our own lives and our situations.
Granted, there may be events where the blame has been rightfully put on someone else, but the whole “blame game” is a trap.
Placing blame on others will never free you from the cyclone of crap and trap. Blaming never helps you, never. It will never do you any good in life. Even if you have been hurt by someone or a situation, you need to make the decision to let it go and move forward.
Moving on prevents you from being “stuck” in the same situation or “rut”. By accepting responsibility, you are FREE to rise above the given situation, empowering yourself to learn, adapt, and improve.
So how do you stop blaming others, accept responsibility and build a better future? Here are three tips to help you achieve better results and relationships.
3 Ways to Accept Responsibility and Stop Blaming Others
#1. Focus on solutions rather than problems
If you have something holding you back and preventing you from achieving your goals or objectives, it’s important to identify the problem.
The difference between those who succeed and those who fail is where they focus their attention next. Those who usually fail at overcoming their problems, focus solely on the problem.
Instead, focus on the solution rather than the problem. If you’re like most people, this is a pretty big one.
If you’re like me, when things go wrong the first thing that you do is get frustrated and irritated. In my head I go through all the additional problems that this situation is going to cause for me. Sometimes I find myself mulling the situation over for days. Truth is, this mindset isn’t helpful at all.
It’s ok to get upset and it’s ok to get frustrated, but that amount of time needs to be limited. To help you move past these feelings, make a list of actions that you can take to get things back on track. Start implementing those actions immediately.
It’s ok to feel a little frustrated when things go wrong, as long as you don’t take it out on others.
Feelings and emotions must be experienced, but you must learn to “let them flow and let them go”, so that you can accept responsibility for solving the problem.
#2 Avoid Blaming Others
We’ve all been in a situation where something went wrong, and we didn’t achieve a desired outcome. Often times, when this happens it’s easy to blame at least part, if not all, of the outcome on somebody else.
Honestly, this is an easy way out. Usually when it’s someone else’s fault, you have an excuse to avoid taking action. If you’re serious about change and turning things around, you need to avoid this trap.
Someone else may have made a mistake or a bad judgment call and caused the situation, but you need to accept responsibility by taking control and identifying how you can work to achieve a better outcome.
When you stand up and accept responsibility, you are not interested in the whole “blame game”. You are focused on achieving the best possible outcome in the shortest amount of time. Be willing to explore every aspect of the situation, not just the parts that someone else messed up on.
Truth is, blaming others is usually a tool you use to avoid losing the approval of others. It’s essential to portray strength and competence to win the respect of other people, we get it.
However, before you are quick to deflect and avoid dealing with the situation, consider this. Rushing to blame someone else rather than accepting responsibility will do you more harm than good. It will actually damage your relationships and reputation in the long run. You will eventually come across as fake, un-trustworthy, and even a bully.
In the end, nobody will respect you and worse no one will trust you or want to work with you.
#3 Own Your Problems
It’s one thing to identify the problem and things you can actively change, but it’s another thing to actually do something about them. You need to step up to the plate and take ownership of the situation.
Once the problem or situation is identified, you need to make an actionable plan that you can use to do something about it.
Come up with a list of tasks which need to be completed to move things forward. Don’t just stop when the list is complete. Actually, do the things on the list.
Pick the first thing on your list, accept responsibility for it and execute your strategy to resolve the problem. This moves you from a state where “you wish things were different” to generating real, positive results.
It’s great to talk about problems and how to solve them, but if you don’t have a plan of action, you’re just going to be stuck in the same old rut and you’ll end up wasting a lot of your time.
It’s unfortunate that today’s modern society is rife with blame and zero accountability. Most of the time, when something goes wrong in our lives, we immediately start a crusade to find the one responsible.
While it’s true that bad circumstances and events can be caused by the hand of someone that wants to deliberately cause harm, most of the time circumstances are results of unintended events.
Blaming others for bad experiences might help you feel better about yourself, but in the long-run this attitude is limiting and will keep you stuck in your situation.
When you take responsibility, you look at things objectively, in any given situation and you identify areas of improvement.
Rather than focusing on the problem and who you can blame, focus on finding, planning, and executing effective strategies and solutions.
In doing so, you allow yourself to find solutions quicker and in a manner which allows you to learn, grow and succeed.
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